I neglect this thing utmost all the time. And so long, some reminiscence has always been telling me back that I could not. I am exhausted. Over exhausted to let this person knows what I've been hiding since it couldn't be spoken yet. I look toward the circumstance whether I'm willing to yell at his face, punch it even, and ask the answer for what I've questioned. And the only reason I haven't do that until now, is just because I can't. I can't do such things for that undeserved one. He doesn't know at all and I hate that fact.
I remember our last night talk, I actually took up an unconditionally issue; and whether he understood or not, I was trying to explain to him a little example for a complicated thing that ruined over my thoughts. I wanted to seek what kind of the way he thought was. And as I guessed so, he has no ability to see what I see.
Simple is better than complicated. Complicated things give you fiasco. Makes you older and uglier. | Too simple can get you numb. Then you have no sensitivity to feel what others feel. | Not really. Numb is when you can't feel anything. When you think simple you're actually freer. | ...
The only thing shocked me was only he is way good in English. Other than that I wouldn't let myself flattered. So there I've found the conclusion. Nothing more can be expected beyond this acceptance. And another story taught me so. One of my friend screamed his heart upon me this morning at class, when I was about too late and it left me a back chair between some silly talks. He told about his girlfriend, and how his wrapped feeling to be over protected by that girl. Then he found someone whom is also my friend, pulled her closer as he wanted to. The thing is, they are having no chance to be together as long as he's still with his girlfriend. He doesn't have any willing to leave her because he doesn't want to hurt anyone.
What a cliche. I got one same thing here with him, all we can do have been just: hold on. As tight as we can. As thick as we're remained. Hold on. All the time in every way. All the tears in every night cry. All over again. We hold on.
And I don't know when it will end up as well. Aim this way too pathetic, play I some head nod. About him, about me being left, and about the unshared feeling that is locked still deep down in my heart.
So, so.
