Been awhile not opening this page until it greets me back with memories. Well, the thing is... I've been broken up again. My last relationship that once I thought would last longer than before, didn't work out the way I wish it could be. For several times in my life, I have to suffer heartbreak again.
But inevitably, I don't know how to feel again right now. How to survive things without mental breakdown caused by the heartbreak, I don't have any idea. I'm so much scared. Getting closer to someone just give you pain in the end. What if they stay? Hey, what if they LEAVE? You'll end up miserable. Alone. You'll wake up nearly every night in a week, it would be 3 or 4, and you can feel a great big hole upon your chest realizing someone has taken something from you which is impossibly to return.
How could you believe then? Because I learned by the time that a happy ending is sort of an unfinished story. Tho I hope immediately somehow, someday, somebody will come and tell me that whole story.
I just can't fucking wait for that day to come.