Planning to write some posts about my last holiday but you know, happy stories didn't take us a bigger space rather than the sad ones. However, I do truly believe that we'd always have both in one package. So why bother worry? If happiness doesn't last either do sorrow, right? And that's what I'm trying to tell to myself as this time goes by.
Here is the story. I had lost my two closest people this early year. The first is, what to say, one of my used to be best friend. Some issues got us wrong as she tried to explain what did exactly happen but unfortunately, it was no longer necessary for me to get to know what's going on, what she's been hiding, and what she guessed she's about to take from me. I remember I have said from the upfront, she won't grab anything since what I sincerely brought to her is not mine either. But you don't destroy the people you love, don't you? Let's say, you don't need the one who doesn't need you, dear friend. And best friends don't do that. She asked me for an apology and I forgave her already. But since this wasn't anyone fault, and I don't say I'm an innocent either, I did ask to her too and there's everything have been said and done.
The second is, a boy who ever had me a few months back then. The one who caught my back every time he heard it cracked. The one who shared his days with me; his engineering study, his basketball team, his indie-recorded band, his brothers from another mothers, his everything. He's been my everything. But then he left me hanging, even broken. And the last thing I heard, he's finally got it right. There's a girl after me who took my place away. A lucky girl who now is having everything that I have to live without. He said sorry yesterday, and I have no reason not to forgive him. He asked me to be still his friend, and I replied with goodbye.
I used to push away people who hurt me. And I guess it'd never change since I find it's better not to know anything about their life anymore rather than watching them keep walking into my mind with their dirty feet. Mom didn't teach me to hold grudge. So I will not keep hatred unless they let me go. Somebody have to draw the line, and now, I have enough. I'll remember them though. I'll remember everyone who leaves. Yet life doesn't stop for anybody.
