Jakarta, December 1st 2012.
1:50 am.
Hi, what's been up?
Here comes the time when I desperately need somebody to talk. No, not somebody. YOU. And since probably I don't know how else to reach you, thus pathetically I laugh myself to death and put what I'm dying to say in this reckless letter. I hope the words might come out better.
Glad to talk to you again, within such lines that I knew will never be sent. And so this is December already. The beginning of the month have always been such a bittersweet turning second for me. You know why, in a half side I'm getting so excited to see what the future holds; what this last month of the year would kindly bring along. But in the other half side, it says that how time flies so fast; that fast that nobody can help me to slow it down. When finally yesterday becomes memory, and how you'd never turn into somebody you used to be, for at least until this moment I wrote you on.
How are you?
How's your town? Has it been raining all the day too? The sun barely shines these lately days in Jakarta, we have merely huge rain, even stormy days here. I got cold as this week starts to end, how about you? I wish you're doing fine there, the basketball team's captain is forbidden to fall sick lol! And how about the full of stars valley once you brought me? Are they still there? Do you remember that night, do you remember it all? I try to remind how does the sound of your voice, the pointless stuffs you did, do you still the same person I happened to know? The last time I met you has been so long that I almost forget your face. But I couldn't help all those things we've said and done are still here in my remembrance, leaving such permanent scars that are impossible to remove. I've been consumed with these thoughts of you ever since you've been gone, and during this second passing by, I don't blame anything nor the distance. But me and you, why were we misplaced?
It's 263 miles away the road scratches us apart. It's only by the telescope I can see your day afar. They say it doesn't matter when someone means so much, but this time, I watch it's you the one who's slipping out. I packed my bag and went to where you are. I chased the train and skipped the classes ahead. I gave a hundred days away just to have another one with you. But now, it's such a useless thing to do while I'm still willing to try that you've already stepped aside. And I get stuck to finish this part, because I hate to say it either; ever since you walked into my life I wasn't looking for you but you turned out to be everything I've been looking for. People don't get my point as well but I promise you, they'll see how it feels like when they feel this way too. You don't know, you just know when you feel, and there's no logic to this thing.
But life goes on, doesn't it? And this piece of me has already come undone.
So I start living my days without your glance, your stupid jokes, and your silly songs, that I feel nothing but the silence which kills inside. I try my best to leave them all behind, but every time it strikes back again, I can't stop wondering why every good thing has come to an end by sooner or later. I get along with everybody, getting all my things finished and done; those campus stuffs until the new choreograph I set into my dancing shoes, everything is fine as I pretend. But deep down I can feel there's a big hole upon my chest, and when I touch that; all of a sudden breathing is such a hard thing to do. And nothing I can do to stop the world goes round. And without you realized, one more time you just taught me how to survive.
I don't know what tomorrow will be, what will happen to us then. It's a riddle that can't be solved by the rhyme. I hope you're doing good; one more year you'll be done in school and many things won't be the same as soon. Maybe I won't be watching you again, laughing from the passenger side like I used to, but by the time we've had been through, I've been thankful for you've had let me to feel one of the best feelings in the world that any of human being could feel.
Come back home, your Mommy missed you. Sad but true--I missed you too. :-(
