Currently mood: six feet underground
I've been sitting alone in my room, now is 10:49 the clock ticks still getting closer to midnight. Nobody's home yet. I've got the last text from Mom about two hours ago, Dad has been out of the town, and my sister has been having her year end holiday with her friends. And I miss them. I miss the feeling of having a family. I used to say I've been getting used to but where else can I go for hug in such time like this?
I started to think it was destiny said that the kids who have commonly background like me anywhere anytime else will be having, what else to say, miserable self managed, moreover when I saw who's around that idea proved me right. A few cigars and drinks will be okay to help them but every drunk step they take will lead them nowhere. I know exactly how it feels. I've ever been twice worse than this, and I proudly say I'm alive still today. But after all these happen whom they people don't know what we have been through, do they have any right to judge?
I don't need to be understood. I don't need to be told. I wasn't put in this earth to please anyone. I am dying trying to be what everyone expect me to. I am dying crying myself every night to sleep. I'm not stressed out; this is how I only react based on their act. Don't get too fast too assume unless you know when did the last time I wash my car. I have so many things in my mind, right on whatever you called it trouble, and I'm not gonna fucking make it double.
Let's say it was me and my academical stuffs, the final exam is less than two weeks. Tasks keep coming, making a pile themselves, in order they can be under controlled I have been over exhausted. I committed as the public relation coordinator in an event my department held. It was okay back then, being a part of this biggest one they have ever had, but day by day the deadline starts to drive me mad. I know, I know, being a pro, we have to still get it all well done, whereas when it's finally accomplished I'm like having countless time to pay. I shouldn't complain, I know, I shouldn't. I would only need a little break I don't think I can endure this as fast as I blink my eyes. Believe me, I know what I'm doing, I will finish what I have started so don't be that worry. Oh please I begin to beg.
And as simple as this, there I've got relief. There I've found some peace talking with silence. Now is ten minutes to twelve, and my class tomorrow will be at 8 in the morning. The blanket calls over me, locked down the door as still nobody's home. Good night.
ps: I miss you shithead where are the good old times gone?
I've been sitting alone in my room, now is 10:49 the clock ticks still getting closer to midnight. Nobody's home yet. I've got the last text from Mom about two hours ago, Dad has been out of the town, and my sister has been having her year end holiday with her friends. And I miss them. I miss the feeling of having a family. I used to say I've been getting used to but where else can I go for hug in such time like this?
I started to think it was destiny said that the kids who have commonly background like me anywhere anytime else will be having, what else to say, miserable self managed, moreover when I saw who's around that idea proved me right. A few cigars and drinks will be okay to help them but every drunk step they take will lead them nowhere. I know exactly how it feels. I've ever been twice worse than this, and I proudly say I'm alive still today. But after all these happen whom they people don't know what we have been through, do they have any right to judge?
I don't need to be understood. I don't need to be told. I wasn't put in this earth to please anyone. I am dying trying to be what everyone expect me to. I am dying crying myself every night to sleep. I'm not stressed out; this is how I only react based on their act. Don't get too fast too assume unless you know when did the last time I wash my car. I have so many things in my mind, right on whatever you called it trouble, and I'm not gonna fucking make it double.
Let's say it was me and my academical stuffs, the final exam is less than two weeks. Tasks keep coming, making a pile themselves, in order they can be under controlled I have been over exhausted. I committed as the public relation coordinator in an event my department held. It was okay back then, being a part of this biggest one they have ever had, but day by day the deadline starts to drive me mad. I know, I know, being a pro, we have to still get it all well done, whereas when it's finally accomplished I'm like having countless time to pay. I shouldn't complain, I know, I shouldn't. I would only need a little break I don't think I can endure this as fast as I blink my eyes. Believe me, I know what I'm doing, I will finish what I have started so don't be that worry. Oh please I begin to beg.
And as simple as this, there I've got relief. There I've found some peace talking with silence. Now is ten minutes to twelve, and my class tomorrow will be at 8 in the morning. The blanket calls over me, locked down the door as still nobody's home. Good night.
ps: I miss you shithead where are the good old times gone?
