I used to love December for my entire lifetime, but these grown up years already make it harder than ever. And here its coming again gets me scared somehow for about three times in a row it poured me rain all along.I'm trying to find any appropriate words to say how this circumstance have been pushing me so hard that I can barely breathe, that everything is so fucking useless. It's like, I am so done what do people expect me to do? And all I've been thinking is... is it possible to step back after we've met halfway? Trust me once, this is exhausting.
I've been messed up these lately days. I skipped some classes. I abandoned the tasks, the group papers, the daily tests, the what-the-lecturer-says. I fought with my Dad almost every night yelling some quite shits I shouldn't have mind. I had no left time to talk with my best friends, to remind that when this chapter's passed all will be just fine. I worry much. I cry much. I try to escape but the only way I've found is having no help. That the only person who makes me happy is the one who makes me depressed at the same time.
Life is been upside down again, well okay, welcome December.
