That split second, when I woke up, I don't know if it was real or not. I fell so hard into a deep hole, and that's actually what is been. And then I realise, this is the third same fucking nightmare. The first and the second had happened both in five and three years ago.
You know, we don't make plan to fall. We just—fall. Yet I can barely fall, actually, but once I fall, it would be so hard. And it's kind of frustrating, having days ahead to spend within a broken heart. Well, that is it. A traumatic feeling that plays back after such long time I've done to remove. I can't feel anything this time, and I don't know how long again it will last. It's just—too difficult to feel worthy when it's been three times that the worth three persons in my life have made me feel—worthless.
So I hope—you have a nightmare too. A double-decker bus will hit you. And everyone on the street walks over your dead body. And the lighter seller is going to burn you to ash. And if I can't drop you to hell, karma fucking will.
ps: this blog is done here, until whenever I don't know.
