Already bored with my routine, posting not such important things? Ups, sorry, I've found nothing else to do and it leads me to wander a thousand thoughts. Well, what happened this week? The actual things I was supposed to do are; stay at home on the rest of this holiday to rearrange all my college stuffs, to wake up early in the morning so I can do a little walk, to accomplish my dance practice twice a week. Quite busy, eh? Nope... plan was only became plan.
I can't go out anywhere, and it sucks. I wasted both time and money, after that new year's eve almost bring me to dead. The accident, that drains my cash until no more plenty. I'm pissed off, this is not such a good holiday. I'm in between missing home already, the circumstance never does allow me to live in a normal family. I don't want to exchange though, but can't they give me just a little change? I'm fine, so fine. Another old trick to fake, eh?
I don't know what I will do on the next days, I don't care even. I sometimes wonder, too much, am I belonging here? Am I going to stay, am I going to move? Still another denial and acceptance, colliding themselves both drive me insane. I often stay up in the middle of the night, a kinda random dreams did this to me. Well, heaven never forgets how bad I want to be a dentist. Ok, no more faking, I'm sad.
What's now? I guess I am kind of late, and also lame. To runaway is only my cast. To hide and seek, like a kindergarten kids who come to their parents whenever they get hurt and back to be bad instead after they have the toys. The past who haunts still, the future who scares worse. Sighing is not an escape.
I have to do something, that only happens by decisions, so soon. Uh oh, how miserable I am.
