mystery or misery?
They were bonding by each other. All the things that will be going to happen, are called mystery. And I have no guts enough sometimes to figure out unless it made itself works. Like now, I'm on crisis upon my academy thingy. This is not regret I'm talking about. I know I wasn't good enough. I threw the classes, I skipped the tasks, I blew the exams, while the old song was still playing: I shouldn't be here instead. Besides, I only wonder... what if I have to stay? I have been tired honestly to seek among His plans because when I had mine for myself, He has always had bigger than I did.
And this is what I'm afraid the most. When a mystery is solved, it turns to be a misery. Like now I'm staring at this stupid page by hoping that unless my gp will be stuck at this point, not to drop lower again. I am done with big expectations. I am so done. Whether I will stay here or not, still I do not even know yet. So long before, my Dad has been telling me that I should think twice with this option. And I hate it because he was right by now saying: I told you so.
They were bonding by each other. All the things that will be going to happen, are called mystery. And I have no guts enough sometimes to figure out unless it made itself works. Like now, I'm on crisis upon my academy thingy. This is not regret I'm talking about. I know I wasn't good enough. I threw the classes, I skipped the tasks, I blew the exams, while the old song was still playing: I shouldn't be here instead. Besides, I only wonder... what if I have to stay? I have been tired honestly to seek among His plans because when I had mine for myself, He has always had bigger than I did.
And this is what I'm afraid the most. When a mystery is solved, it turns to be a misery. Like now I'm staring at this stupid page by hoping that unless my gp will be stuck at this point, not to drop lower again. I am done with big expectations. I am so done. Whether I will stay here or not, still I do not even know yet. So long before, my Dad has been telling me that I should think twice with this option. And I hate it because he was right by now saying: I told you so.
I'm longing for home that I couldn't find where it is. When all you see is beautiful lights all over behind my-oh-so-called sweetest smile, let me translate this so it would be written; hell is on the back of a fake smile.
Enough with this shit.
Enough with this shit.
