This is the recent thing pops up in my mind. It's like I'm standing on the edge between 2 hells which will grab me as soon as I couldn't choose, like having a super massive asshole apart my body. My heart and my head are colliding chaotic. I can no longer feel a thing right now.

Have you ever stared at this case? Imagine.
You walk in a hard path. You were, yes were, not alone. There are such many stones all along the road. You passed it one by one as much as others did. You kept walking through. Then the stones are getting more and more so that it keeps yourself busy to pass them as well as you did in the past. When the path is almost over, there is a huge stone in front of you which makes you stuck. Stuck, like you can move nowhere. At that time, you start to look around; such a thing you have never done as long as you began to walk because you were too busy to deal with those previous stones. Know what you see? The others were not staying the same. What's worse? The people who used to stand beside you; is left behind without your knowing how to reach them anymore. Already got the worst? Ya, there no such a thing, repeat, no such a thing... will be the same like before. And now. I only got few hours to decide; all or nothing.

Everyday it gets harder.
Everyday it is like a nightmare progressing on.
Everyday is another prayer echoing from my bones asking God to take me now.
Everyday I close up more.
Everyday it gets more impossible.
Everyday I feel myself die some more.
Everyday I lay on my bed wondering how I will leave this hell.
I have never felt so much pain.
(source)

Do you think I am too bad to be messed up?
A girl in smokes have been crying along her way home.