These ticking clocks keep running on where I am alone in my room, just me and my mind. I think, a lot. About everything I should and those I shouldn't. I can feel my ears are almost deaf because of here is silent, but inside is screaming too loud. I hate it, because the most thing I have never thought about is suddenly bringing up again, and all I can do is not to stop thinking. Mind if I tell you about this?
Because I know that it came from a thing called 'high school', so it's better if I start from here. Never mind this? Just skip.
I entered this high school, at first, with all the hopes and wishes I had to bring it to real. I was so happy in my first year. I met my new (was) kindhearted friends, got the good scores in many subjects, and my life was just so fine back then. What suck was, I have just broken up with Mr. Duck, but those everything new all fixed that one problem. Not too long after I feel that empty side, I met somebody new. He's bringing a life, once I ever knew, one of the best part in my life.
Call him, Mr. Sucre. If you noticed, I wrote much about him here, like I wrote my dearest old best friend, Key, his also best friend. He came into my life in sudden, and I felt just like, thank God everything completes everything. I was getting so much closer to Key, and I loved them both... a lot. I never wanted even a little thing to be changed, that time. First month, second month, third month, everything was just okay. Until I heard some silly things from my close friends, what they said that some people didn't like the girl who is dated by Sucre. It was me, eh? Yeah, they don't like me to be his girlfriend.
You know, rumors spread as fast as we can't stop.
I asked to Key, who was my friend, what am I doing wrong so that people hate me being Sucre's girlfriend? Key said nothing, she just smiled and made me sure that everything was so okay. But later, I discovered by myself, through some bitter phases, what the reason was... I acted like a drama queen even to my boyfriend; asked him this, told him that, and I was shocked to find the fact why weren't my own friends telling me?
I didn't think that it's all true... because, how come you judge someone if you really know nothing about them?
In fact, Key did nothing at all, as someone who called themselves a 'friend'. The next thing I knew was, my relationship with Sucre is getting worse time by time. He never talked as much as usual, He acted as cold as a stranger. I rarely chatted with Key again, as I knew actually she built a distance between us, with nothing I could understand. I was sick and hospitalized, and Sucre was the last person I met in my room. He didn't say anything as he should, and I knew that time was our kiss goodbye, before everything was really over in front of my eyes.
I was back to school, with a half of my soul.
It was second grade already, I wasn't in the major I had to be at all. I got my scores dropped in every subject, and no wonder, I had both of physic and mental in sick. My close friends, included Key, I didn't even know where the hell they were when I need them right there. And that day finally came, the beginning of my nightmare. Sucre left me either.
Oh, it gets more dramatic this part, I rather hate it. You should left anytime you want by the way.
It was nothing between me and Sucre, no more. I was feeling like completely empty, with no one left I had. I know he hates me so much, because of I couldn't change my act after that fucking break up. I told everyone, whom I thought was my friends, about how I felt and what should I do, but the hell was, they told Sucre all the things I have talked. He thought I was kinda asking for pity from everyone and that was silly if it really happened. I swore that wasn't what I meant! I hope Sucre knows, sooner or later, but I have no guts to tell him what the hell exactly happened.
I was left with nothing to hold, in a long long journey of a brokenhearted girl.
That year was really suck for me. I was doing nothing in school. I kept breaking the rules, until they called my parents in some routine times. I wasn't changed. I saw everybody's staying away from me, and I easily cried everytime it popped my mind up. In the time like that, exactly, God showed me who are truly my friends, in silence I heard He spoke. I could hold on, at least, through the uninvited bashes, until the shocking turning point... which I knew I really had to step it with my own feet.
Sucre was not longer mine, one thing I should have realized since so long before.
He had found somebody new, in case... it was the second time he broke my heart. But you know, too much breaking your heart could get it numb, right? And it was like, I couldn't define the things what I should do or not. I did hate that girl, honestly. I knew it was too childish to admit but what I felt was, she grabbed Sucre from me. If I was her, I should have known that if she's going on with Sucre, somebody is being hurt. But I know it wasn't fair, right? She knew nothing and I should have let the one that I love gets his happiness the way he is.
The cold war, you know, never was that easy.
I got the blame from anyone. Was that me being selfish? And I could hear every wall is talking. I hate that place. I hate in there. Until that girl came to me, yes Sucre's girlfriend, and we were talking from heart to heart. She is my friend now, within a long time we accept each other by this situation. I knew Sucre more hate me when he knows that, but suddenly his girlfriend asked him to talk with me. And there I was... got things better with him. Underlined, for a moment.
Yes, everything got better, you see what the impact he brought could change my everything.
Third grade was awesome, I felt right my burdens have gone after I could see his smile, to me, again. I made friends with another gorgeous people new, and got ripped off with the person who used to be my friends. They say I was selfish but hey, I was saving myself from the pains they hurt me so bad. And Key was not the exception. I said sorry to her a million times, she'd too, but it changed nothing at all. We have gone own our ways, as I knew it's for the best. And there I put the full stop.
And now is graduation already, and I'm done with this story.
I recall this thing, by hours, and I can't stand to drop my tears. If you, one of the people I mentioned above, read this, I really ask for sorry if you mind to. You know, I know, we know, what should have happened... is already happened. There is enough I have paid to something I called 'love' by what is gain, throughout my pain. I learned from here, from this bittersweet high school story.
This is one thing I should never let go, as I have tried so long since it's already over. I will be going on, and keep it inside by wishing for the time to trash it all away.
Can somebody help me?
Because I know that it came from a thing called 'high school', so it's better if I start from here. Never mind this? Just skip.
I entered this high school, at first, with all the hopes and wishes I had to bring it to real. I was so happy in my first year. I met my new (was) kindhearted friends, got the good scores in many subjects, and my life was just so fine back then. What suck was, I have just broken up with Mr. Duck, but those everything new all fixed that one problem. Not too long after I feel that empty side, I met somebody new. He's bringing a life, once I ever knew, one of the best part in my life.
Call him, Mr. Sucre. If you noticed, I wrote much about him here, like I wrote my dearest old best friend, Key, his also best friend. He came into my life in sudden, and I felt just like, thank God everything completes everything. I was getting so much closer to Key, and I loved them both... a lot. I never wanted even a little thing to be changed, that time. First month, second month, third month, everything was just okay. Until I heard some silly things from my close friends, what they said that some people didn't like the girl who is dated by Sucre. It was me, eh? Yeah, they don't like me to be his girlfriend.
You know, rumors spread as fast as we can't stop.
I asked to Key, who was my friend, what am I doing wrong so that people hate me being Sucre's girlfriend? Key said nothing, she just smiled and made me sure that everything was so okay. But later, I discovered by myself, through some bitter phases, what the reason was... I acted like a drama queen even to my boyfriend; asked him this, told him that, and I was shocked to find the fact why weren't my own friends telling me?
I didn't think that it's all true... because, how come you judge someone if you really know nothing about them?
In fact, Key did nothing at all, as someone who called themselves a 'friend'. The next thing I knew was, my relationship with Sucre is getting worse time by time. He never talked as much as usual, He acted as cold as a stranger. I rarely chatted with Key again, as I knew actually she built a distance between us, with nothing I could understand. I was sick and hospitalized, and Sucre was the last person I met in my room. He didn't say anything as he should, and I knew that time was our kiss goodbye, before everything was really over in front of my eyes.
I was back to school, with a half of my soul.
It was second grade already, I wasn't in the major I had to be at all. I got my scores dropped in every subject, and no wonder, I had both of physic and mental in sick. My close friends, included Key, I didn't even know where the hell they were when I need them right there. And that day finally came, the beginning of my nightmare. Sucre left me either.
Oh, it gets more dramatic this part, I rather hate it. You should left anytime you want by the way.
It was nothing between me and Sucre, no more. I was feeling like completely empty, with no one left I had. I know he hates me so much, because of I couldn't change my act after that fucking break up. I told everyone, whom I thought was my friends, about how I felt and what should I do, but the hell was, they told Sucre all the things I have talked. He thought I was kinda asking for pity from everyone and that was silly if it really happened. I swore that wasn't what I meant! I hope Sucre knows, sooner or later, but I have no guts to tell him what the hell exactly happened.
I was left with nothing to hold, in a long long journey of a brokenhearted girl.
That year was really suck for me. I was doing nothing in school. I kept breaking the rules, until they called my parents in some routine times. I wasn't changed. I saw everybody's staying away from me, and I easily cried everytime it popped my mind up. In the time like that, exactly, God showed me who are truly my friends, in silence I heard He spoke. I could hold on, at least, through the uninvited bashes, until the shocking turning point... which I knew I really had to step it with my own feet.
Sucre was not longer mine, one thing I should have realized since so long before.
He had found somebody new, in case... it was the second time he broke my heart. But you know, too much breaking your heart could get it numb, right? And it was like, I couldn't define the things what I should do or not. I did hate that girl, honestly. I knew it was too childish to admit but what I felt was, she grabbed Sucre from me. If I was her, I should have known that if she's going on with Sucre, somebody is being hurt. But I know it wasn't fair, right? She knew nothing and I should have let the one that I love gets his happiness the way he is.
The cold war, you know, never was that easy.
I got the blame from anyone. Was that me being selfish? And I could hear every wall is talking. I hate that place. I hate in there. Until that girl came to me, yes Sucre's girlfriend, and we were talking from heart to heart. She is my friend now, within a long time we accept each other by this situation. I knew Sucre more hate me when he knows that, but suddenly his girlfriend asked him to talk with me. And there I was... got things better with him. Underlined, for a moment.
Yes, everything got better, you see what the impact he brought could change my everything.
Third grade was awesome, I felt right my burdens have gone after I could see his smile, to me, again. I made friends with another gorgeous people new, and got ripped off with the person who used to be my friends. They say I was selfish but hey, I was saving myself from the pains they hurt me so bad. And Key was not the exception. I said sorry to her a million times, she'd too, but it changed nothing at all. We have gone own our ways, as I knew it's for the best. And there I put the full stop.
And now is graduation already, and I'm done with this story.
I recall this thing, by hours, and I can't stand to drop my tears. If you, one of the people I mentioned above, read this, I really ask for sorry if you mind to. You know, I know, we know, what should have happened... is already happened. There is enough I have paid to something I called 'love' by what is gain, throughout my pain. I learned from here, from this bittersweet high school story.
It is already ended, that is fact. But every time I go to bed; where I see my wall full of written his name, where I see my desk full of pictures with who used to be my friends, where I see my side of bed and find a little tied duck... this heart told me that I'm still into it. And it's sad to know that my head don't allow me to feel that, even just one night.
This is one thing I should never let go, as I have tried so long since it's already over. I will be going on, and keep it inside by wishing for the time to trash it all away.
Can somebody help me?
