I captured that picture above, along my way back home few days ago. You know, sometimes driving alone makes me should think of what I have been doing till the rest of the day. But it was raining outside, just like what I'm feeling inside.
I'm not gonna call it such a broken heart trouble.
I should have seen it before, ever since this relationship has begun. These months. These... times when I'm feeling so down and dropped myself for a long time on my knees. When I cried in silence in the middle of the night. When I covered myself with a fake smile in front of your face, pretend that everything was alright. When I say yes in everything I should say no, when I nodded my head in everything I should shook.
And now I give up. I give up.
I'm not trying to forget that sunshine on March. I'm not trying to delete all those memories. I'm not trying to recall. I'm not trying to get myself hurt by hurting you. I'm not trying to get this feeling out of my heart. But now I can't feel what I used to feel, like I always told you back then. I'm sad... too bad I can not tell you what it's called 'thank you' and 'sorry', like people always do in the end of their last sentences.
I know I'm doing wrong, but I can't let myself hurt by hearing your voice again. I'm saving both of us, this is what you have to know, I don't want the tears let us down like the other fighting nights before.
Read this ladies,
"Every woman deserves nothing but the best. So, man, ask to yourself, are you yet the best for us? If you are, then just stay. But if you're not... now it's your turn too choose. What do you want to do? Leave? Oh well, we think it's better for you. Because with or without you, our life keeps going through."
I know there will be a better woman you have to build your house with. I will never be your Dentist anymore. Yeah, I know. Fuck myself off.
Good. Bye.
